Time stands still…and will do so ...for ever...

I have been writing in anger and passion a lot about the army, the fight and the attacks, and had been running away from writing this last piece, as I knew this will take a lot of emotional energy…as I here will talk about a permanent scar which these sacrifices leave in the hearts of the family who send their son to fight the war.

Let me begin by sharing my encounter with some people with zero national character…those who are shame to our country

It was in year 1999 just before Kargil, I was having discussion with friends on bravery of our Army men and how they should be honored as they are willing to sacrifice their lives for the nation. And a friend shot back with an insensitive reply saying “well they join army knowing that they will die, they choose to die, so why worry?”

I still boil with anger when I think of that day, as this comment came when I was citing a heroic story of my cousin brother who had died just few months back in 34 hours encounter with terrorists in the valley...

and i get a reply “army men know they will die…and they choose to?"I wish I can go back in time and slap that person and tell him, that these men die to save civilians like himself , who rather than feeling thankful don’t even value the sacrifice?

9 years since and I hear another comment, well not that severe but still hurts “it is a known fact and not new, that it is not worth dying for this country”. I feel very sad when I think of those 1000’s of men who died to save people like these, rather than honoring them they make it look like an obvious mistake…

that is where I give up and feel that it was not worth it, when the people for whom our forces die for, the people who sleep in peace when our men take bullets at border…these very people, don’t even acknowledge their sacrifice and shamelessly take it for granted – that Army men are ready to fight war and die...that it is known that it is not worth dying for our country...

Well in all of this they very conveniently forget one word “men” attached to the word army. Have they ever thought what happens to the families of these people, have they ever thought that these guys may have wife, kid, siblings, parents, friends?

Let me throw some light...

They are humans like us with families and friends – with dreams and hope. Like a Army officer i know of - father to be when he was called to fight in the valley, his wife 5 months pregnant ,he made promises to buy pram and toys for the kids on his return…and left with many more such joyful thoughts. The father being and ex army officer sent his son to the war with pride, mother packed paratha's made in milk so that it remains soft for long, only later to receive the news that their son died a death of bravery. His younger sister then pregnant too was called from Delhi to Dehradun, on some pretext to meet parents, not knowing that when she reaches she will await with her parents for her brother’s coffin. My hands are shaking writing about happened 10 years back…as it shakes the very core of us even today.

The news on media fades and your candle flame dies – but life for these family go on…think of the young wife, who has to bring up a kid on her own, think of the kid, who has never seen her father and will grow up looking at papa’s pictures and listening to his stories, think of the sisters plight every year on festival called raakhi..think of the parents who now spend their life looking at the picture albums, and lie to each other hiding their pain, fearing they will add on to spouses pain if seen crying.

Life moves on for the world…but it stands still for the family who looses their son…media forgets the sacrifice in 20 days, minister forgets the speech on bravery in 20 minutes, but you visit that house after 20 years…you will still find the parents holding their son’s picture, the son they sent to fight the enemy at front for all of us…

For them the time stands still, and for this family I know the time stood still in August of 98…

You Wake up now?

Entire India has woken up to attacks today, saying enough is enough !!!

Why? Simple - Coz this time the attacks happened at the elitest of the lot. Till now the garbage picker, or chai wala or some other segment of the poor were getting killed, but today we have candle march as the rich is affected. My friend Deepak made an interesting comment saying “today the world is shaken, as the page 3 guys are affected, it is not new, people have died before, but now it is noticed as it happened to people who have a voice”

Mumbai was enlightened with new words– “NSG , Army , Commando“ now when it happened on it’s doorstep – well these guys had been in existence for long…they have had major operations even earlier, but Mumbai woke up to this fact today.

Forget the NSG which is a special team involved in special operations, how is it that Army is hero only today when they saw them in uniforms on Mumbai roads fighting for them? Why was their existence not acknowledged when they had been guarding our borders every day for years– war or no war. There are attacks every day, men die to save us every day, have we ever applauded them? Today we do as it happened inside Taj and Oberoi and not in the valley?

Our men had been dying in valley for years – there names do not even appear in newspapers, their death is reported in numbers…7 Army Men killed, or 2 officers killed…that is all…why we never got on to our feet then to salute, only because they died in valley and not in your own hometown?

You need them now when you want them to guard you as you pay taxes? You could not have insulted them more - they are not commodity to be purchased by your taxes, they are men with families like us. You need security so ask for it, ask, because as citizen you deserve it, not because you pay taxes…their lives cannot be measured by the taxes you pay. As my friend Saunak says "this duty certainly doesn't absolve by paying few thousands as taxes.... There's no price for sacrifice"

You want the security ? fine so fight their battle for them - have a march against those who are counting the number of eggs in their ration, saying 24 a month is too much, have a march to better their salaries, something which is pending clearance for long, help them fight those who question their CSD facility, have a march to give them better homes, fight for their better life…

You wake up now to the existence of our Defence forces, while there are 100’s of widows, who have been remembering their husband’s for more than a decade, all alone in their homes.

You wake up now as they showed that they can die for you in your own city, while you were totally blind to the fact,that for years they already had been dying for you, but in the unknown darkness of the valley.

A tribute to Capt Tarun Kumar

Lt Col V K Trihma (my Tayaji) once told his son Tarun Kumar (my cousin)

"Son do something in life that makes me proud and people know me as your father rather than you as my son"

My cousin fought at the border in Kashmir and sacrificed his life saving the nation, including you and me, he made not only his dad but entire country proud...

today...Tauji is known as Capt Tarun Kumar's Father!!!

Bhaiya, we miss you!!!

My Dad

“Scramble” “Scramble” the announcement from the speakers and these few young flying officers in their blue dungaree, with wings on their chest, helmets in the hand, rush out and before you can say the word “go” they are climbing up the ladder into the cockpit. With the first ray of the sunlight they are flying up in the air, touching the heights and the speed, playing hide and seek with each other, an hour later they land, walking back with smile on their faces, knowing this was one of the perfect saurtis. Even 30 years back this was the common exercise for the Pilots of the Indian Air Force (IAF), one of the handsome faces walking back was of my Father – Pilot of the IAF.

Today I was looking at him sitting in the hospital, gasping for breath, I could hear the wheezing from his lungs even four seats away….this is something that we have grown up seeing, his asthma attacks. After some years of flying he got his first attack, and then he was grounded.

He was lost in the battle of lungs and air, when this Airman came and wished him, he had no clue that someone was talking to him, looking totally blank into the air, fighting to get some breath in him….. 

I remember clearly, when I was young and use to pass the guardroom with him, the guard would give him a perfect salaam with the rifle and thud of the feet, and dad keeping his back erect would reply to him with a strong “Jai Hind” and I would be so proud of him, knowing that he was the best, today he was looking into the air unaware that someone was calling for him, in response we could only hear his wheezing, I gave the Airman a smile acknowledging on Dad’s behalf. 

He who at one time use to take his plane up in the sky not once but day after day for years, one who in the war of 1971 had been to the war struck areas, into the neighbouring country flying low to drop food for our army men, who was fearless of any danger that laid ahead. Today when we go out, he quietly opens the car door and sits next to the driver’s seat waiting for me to come and take the wheel.

Later I was next to his bed watching him draw oxygen from the oxygen mask on him, how different were the reasons for which the mask was on now and when he use to have it on, up in the air.

I can not explain what I feel when I see him struggling for breath each time, I cannot come to terms with the fact that he is the same person who was so independent and carefree, one I use to be scared of as a kid, now is emotionally dependent on us, his children. He is the same person who had temper on his nose tip now is patience personified. The man who did not care for the world was now living for his family. Man who ruled the sky once was now confined to the safely of the fresh air of his room. May be that is life.

I think it is time for us kids to realize that our parents have done enough for us , and we need to stand up and give them what they have given us, they want nothing much, all they ask for is - Love, patience, respect and most of all, Our Time. Lets start doing it now, before it is too late.
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