1411 Save tiger cause !!!

The campaign launched by Aircel to save tiger is awesome…mind blowing is the word. Creative, media span, spends, everything…it is such a powerful campaign that does not miss anyone’s eye…be it TV, print, billboards, online, social networking site…it is just about everywhere and the number 1411 is printed on our minds.

But as a human and citizen of India I have one basic question…

what do I or people around me gain by saving tigers?

Does it help my country to remove poverty, does it fetch at least 1 proper meal to a person who otherwise would not have got it, does it ensure no water scarcity in future…wait before you jump to conclusions on me talking some NGO’s language let me clarify…I am talking as an Indian and have no agenda here to drive women rights, or population control etc…I honestly have this question.

why such a POWERFUL campaign is never launched on "save water", pollution, drugs, smoking ...well....why talk of big things ???

Lets start with basics…- respect parents, respect fellow human, do not swear, be punctual, don't jump traffic lights…there are so many basic simple causes that can have high impact in our day to day life…

I am impressed and bowled over by the campaign, it has caught every ones eye...all those who may never have seen a tiger...but are asked to save one...I am amazed by the media channels used to spread this message....it has reached all the classes and cities....but I feel sad that this message that has reached all - has nothing to offer to them or to their fellow humans.

feels just like love

it feels just like love
but it is not
it hurts just like love
as i miss u a lot
i long like one in love
wishing the distances were short
yes it feels just like love
but it is not

i wish we had stayed longer
i wish we had spoken some more
i wish we did not have to part ways
i wish we could be together for some more days

need to meet you again
need to talk just once more
to see that look in your eyes
that makes my heart swell to core

kill the distance that separates us
bridge the difference in what we speak
i know we connect beyond this life
our ties are not that weak

i dont know your name
i dont know where you belong
doesn't matter if you married or not
still for you I sing this song

we shall meet again for sure
i shall meet your children too
i know i am not alone in this
and you too wish to see me soon

we are meant to meet again
it does sounds like a similar plot
yes...it feels just like love, i know
but let me tell you...that it is not...

feeling special....

this is what technology and power of online marketing do to you...

my friend deepali made me feel so special sending me new year wishes in a unique online way!!!

makes me feel so special :)

take a look....

sorry

sorry, very easy for you to say, but it does not undo what has happened, it cannot take away the pain it caused me ...as the hurt is so deep, i cannot forget, and if cannot forget i cannot forgive - i am sorry !!!

speak up...

not once but many a times it has happened that i have this great idea in my mind that i want to share, waiting for the right time to come..blah blah blah and before i know someone else has spoken about it...

in discussions when all are breaking heads for a solution , i may have an idea in my mind, but it sounds so stupid coz it sounds so basic...in fear of making a fool of myself ... i keep shut...and surprise surprise ... though basic...my solution was bang on!!! once again spoken by someone else...

my husband always tells me...most of the complex problem have simple solutions...but people are so fixed on solving complexity that they miss out the obvious...

so

lesson learnt - i will always speak up...

it does not matter if it matters to you

people come and go, that is how most of the world looks at meeting new people, you meet, you know them and you move on… but some of them actually touch your heart…and when it happens; it does not matter if it matters to them…

well, let me try again; I don’t have many friends, I can actually count them on my figures…but apart from friends, there are many people, we may not even be in touch, I don’t even know where they are, but I still think of them fondly, remember the time we met, or few interactions we had, or may be years we spent together…they are very special to me, coz they all touched my heart …

…It does not matter if they remember me, it does not matter if they think of me, it does not matter if we ever meet again, all what matters is for me to be able to relive those moments I spent with them…

if I know where they are, I go round to say hello, and more often than not, they wonder - where did I appeared from? They must think I am crazy, but you know what…it does not matter, coz it is my need to see or talk to them again , it is my need to make them a part of my life and memories … its my need…not theirs…so it does not matter…

I am sure each one of us have some people in our lives whom we fondly remember – selflessly… without questioning if they think of you, if you matter to them….it does not even matter if they care…all what matters is that you care…you know why? … coz they touch your heart..…like you touch mine…

you are one of those whom I will fondly remember – always , it does not matter where we are, how old we grow, which paths we take …all what matters is I care…and, it does not matter if I matter to you…

I love...

i care, you know
i share, you know
i ask, you know
i answer, you know
i think, you know
i speak, you know
i give, you know
i demand, you know
i love - do you know?

I'm bored of living

Yeah I know sounds strange. But we had many holidays in Bangalore lately, as the kannada super hero rajkumar died, not only there is an off but also people were forced to be indoors, then a good friday and a weekend. I hate to be home doing nothing. Four days in a row, doing nothing and locked at home, surfing, TV and a bit of shopping, I feel like a waste. I remember when I went through this trip for the first time, it was after my 10th Boards, did nothing but ate, slept, watched TV and ate some more. I have similar feeling now, being usless, sitting home, just killing time, somehow I feel guitly living like this of not being of any use...no i do not mean social service here, it is just the feeling of idleness....so I was telling my husband that I am bored of living, what are we doing living and repeating same things everyday, breathing, eating, loo, bursh, bathe, TV , shop, walk (put this into a loop) and of all this again....aren't u bored of just living???

I hope I am out of this trip soon, may be Monday will cheer me up,and surely i will be waiting for a weekend then.... :)

Confession – the best pain killer.

happiness....nothing but a mirage.

Happiness is like mirage, you chase it all day long and it keeps going further,
at dusk when you think you have caught it by reaching it,
you realize that it never existed.

Confession – the best pain killer.

I had written this title about a year back (today we are on 17th April 2006).Almost a year passed by since then.

A year back i was carrying a burden of secret in my heart, which was as big as mt everest. it was not about me, but did affect our lives. I contemplated a lot, if i should or not tell my mom about it...it was killing me, sooner or later they were bound to know, what do i do??

I gathered courage one day and let it out in one shot. She was struck with shock and probably could not sleep the whole night, next morning she also said "tu jhoot bol rahi hai na? (tell me you are lying)"... and like how all mom's do, she talked to my dad about it - i did not have courage to tell him myself - so solved my problem about telling him ;)

today after a year, i can say i did the right thing, i know i took a very big chance, but it was worth it, than living a life in fear "what if they come to know"

that night i slept in peace after a long time as you know the burden was off my heart...and as i said confession was the best pain killer for me.

when life goes thru a down stream...

when life goes through a down stream
and nothing bright around can make you smile

though you see the rainbow in the end,
but some how the heart still cries.

you have shower of blessings from the heaven,
still why you are weeping all nights

you have it all, all that no other has,
but still you feel so hollow

why cry for the sins of others,
and why weep for their sorrow

why cant you embrace the happiness lord has given you,
as it is lot for so many around

oh my dear, do not break ..... not now
when only last mile remains to go....

It never is me.

How happenings in someone’s else’s life affect your life as well….strange it is what ever is happening to me since morning. I cannot thank God enough for treating my life with so much care, he has not only given me all that I ever wanted but also things that I never asked for, so why am I so troubled? Oh Lord this is unfair…..why is it that things happening in others lives takes the charm away from mine? I am happy for others, but why do I feel that in this only one person can be happy, so if it is them, it cannot be me… ...and in the end I know, it will not be me……coz it never is. *.*.*

Obsession is it?

It comes with a pang of hatred, I see her with him, touch his hands, kiss his lips and….. Oh Lord am I human, that I want to cut every bit of hers that touched him?

The scenes could change and sequence could vary, but each time I feel the same blood flow up my legs and collect in a pit in my heart, that pains, pains so much and I close my eyes to see that image, I push it away, but it comes back from like a flash, and leave me boiling, fuming in rage.

I have not seen or met her and does it even matter? it is in the past, even I have skeletons in my closet, but they seem nothing. I cannot bear the thought of some other eyes looking at him, some other lips lust for him, hands wanting to touch him……so much so I cannot share him even with his family, his smiles should be only for me, he should only share moments for me, how can he laugh with them when he says he belongs to me?

How can he sleep in the room that does not have me around? how can he walk on the roads and let people look at him? I hate the cigarette smoke that he takes in, as it touches the insides of him that I cannot reach, how can he talk to strangers and let them hear his voice? How come the air around him touches him all the time and not me….why can’t I bear these thoughts…..why?

I want to be the food that satisfies his hunger, the water that takes his thirst away, blanket that gives him warmth, the breeze that brushes his cheek, I want to be the only thing he needs, wants, desires and loves in life. I want him to love me and me alone.

I cannot and will not share him with anyone, be it family, friends or foes. I will not let him even hate someone as that would take some space in his mind. I will not let him live where all his needs are not satisfied by me.

I am foolishly, madly and hopelessly in love with him. But people say it is an obsession. You tell me obsession it is or love?

All I ask him is to love me and let me love him, day after day, night after night. Is it too much to ask that you call it an obsession?

*.*.*

My Life Shines on me again.

A thin line of light came out of the dark sky, black clouds were parting to give way to the stream of rays, it tore apart the darkness and once again lit the entire surface, flowers were blooming, birds chirping, and every small particle on ground was glittering, earth shone with a smile, welcoming the brightness once again.

That’s how I feel today, darkness is gone – My life shines bright on me once again…..

I thank you Lord for showing me this day.

Come back to you again

Remembering the times spent together
And each moment we shared
All the days gone by
Not knowing then, what it was meant to be

Like a storm all came to me
Washing away all my sorrows
Giving me heaps of dreams
But not hope for it to come true

I can still feel your touch
Can have you back across the miles
I can still have you besides me
With just close of my eyes

I want to be there again
I want to touch you once more
I want to feel the happiness
That I had never felt before

Want to kill the distance
that lay in-between
simply want to fly my way
just next to my dream

Only if I could – Come back to you again.


6th Jan 98, 7.10 PM

Memories

Some were happy some were sad
But collected them I all
For they all belong to me
To me and who were mine

Be it painful or the other
I have my days attached
And a major part of me
In the cherished moments I had

I lived the moments then
I relive them again
Each day of my life
I breath my moments today

Whats gone cant come back
So enjoy I do what remains
For once more I can have them all
Through my memories – I live the same again.


28 july 97
10.50 PM

I Killed the child in me

I grew and learned
From the mistakes I made
Tears taught me
And laugher groomed

Exploring the world
And adjusting in it
I went along and saw
I wasn’t fit enough to be in

Too tender for the cruelty I saw
And sensitive to the truth
I came out and ran far
Away in hope to escape

Here I am a different me
All changed now that you see
Unshaken and strong I stand
As I killed the child in me.


14th March 97
8.37 PM

Time to say Goodbye

We learn to talk
we learn to walk
but could not learn to stop the cry
why couldn't the teachers teach us how to say good bye

teaching of our teachers
friendship of our friend
this small routine life
comes to an end

time is flowing and if will flow
it is us who will have to go
is has to go it has to fly
and now is the time to say goodbye

1993 :)