do i live too much in my past?

if you happen to know me once - and knew that i cared for you then - don’t be surprised if i pop up in front of you to say hello...just like that …out of the blue…..that is me…

is that normal?

i am not sure …there are times when i see something that reminds me of someone special ... it could be a little thing as a purple color…as that is what my friend jyoti liked…or a post box or a post man – as that reminds me of my childhood friend vivek whom i grew up writing 2 letters a week (and now new age letters - emails), or simply two girls giggling away to glory – that reminds me of my bestest (if there is a word like that in dictionary) of friends God could ever make…anamika

when i think of them i want to get back to them…so i follow the trace from where we lost touch and reach out…just to say hello…you know for old time’s sake… but what i don’t realize is that they may not have been thinking of me, they may have totally moved on … and for them the times that we shared are now just some fancy pictures in their album…

I miss my old days, my friends, my school, my school canteen and uniform, the corridor, the evening walks around the park with my 3 girlfriends, my colleagues in chennai and horrible drive to office in kelambakam far away from the city ….i miss every thing...

so when I come to know the whereabouts of a friend, I make that extra effort to reach out to them…you know for the old times sake and say hello...…but you know what - I am not sure if they feel the same way…

Its not that those were the perfect days …I had my share of heartbreaks,crying over the pillow nights as well…(check my blog…it talks all about it) … I see my life today…I am happiest i have ever been…i could not have asked God for more – (touch wood ) I have a perfect husband (parceled from my past - the days i am talking about), a perfect marriage and a great job…so why do I miss those times and people so much…??

is it that I am too sensitive when compared to others? is it a disease? is it abnormal? is it that the nostalgia glands (if any) work overtime for me…do I not want to let that time go? do I want to hold it back? …i do not know…so I worry thinking about it…as not many go around the world getting connected to school time friends, or people you worked with 8 years ago… I wonder, may be unlike most of the world… I live too much in my past…