women - they seem to be very complicated but have one common trait the one where - they can be swept off their foot very easy...
right kind of words, right moves and she is yours...
i am watching the series "sex and the city" again, and this time round i am more irritated by Carrie's behavior than when i saw it earlier...as since then i have seen more and more cases of how women let men take advantage of their feelings so easily. women just seem to have no control.
while it is obvious that the guy is using her emotions to set a perfect trap, playing a ping pong by giving hope one day and withdrawing the next, she keeps falling for the trick till she has no shame and dignity left in her.
Carrie a typical subject - does exactly the same, falling into Big's trap time and again post being dumped god knows how many times already...why can't girls take a stance and decide once and for all, rather than falling in and out of love and bed of the same guy...
what's for the guy, he is just being a guy...and woman end up making complete fool's of themselves...proving the point that either they do not have brains...and if they do, it fails to work in front of their heart...or is it irresistible men?
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Time stands still…and will do so ...for ever...
I have been writing in anger and passion a lot about the army, the fight and the attacks, and had been running away from writing this last piece, as I knew this will take a lot of emotional energy…as I here will talk about a permanent scar which these sacrifices leave in the hearts of the family who send their son to fight the war.
Let me begin by sharing my encounter with some people with zero national character…those who are shame to our country
It was in year 1999 just before Kargil, I was having discussion with friends on bravery of our Army men and how they should be honored as they are willing to sacrifice their lives for the nation. And a friend shot back with an insensitive reply saying “well they join army knowing that they will die, they choose to die, so why worry?”
I still boil with anger when I think of that day, as this comment came when I was citing a heroic story of my cousin brother who had died just few months back in 34 hours encounter with terrorists in the valley...
and i get a reply “army men know they will die…and they choose to?"I wish I can go back in time and slap that person and tell him, that these men die to save civilians like himself , who rather than feeling thankful don’t even value the sacrifice?
9 years since and I hear another comment, well not that severe but still hurts “it is a known fact and not new, that it is not worth dying for this country”. I feel very sad when I think of those 1000’s of men who died to save people like these, rather than honoring them they make it look like an obvious mistake…
that is where I give up and feel that it was not worth it, when the people for whom our forces die for, the people who sleep in peace when our men take bullets at border…these very people, don’t even acknowledge their sacrifice and shamelessly take it for granted – that Army men are ready to fight war and die...that it is known that it is not worth dying for our country...
Well in all of this they very conveniently forget one word “men” attached to the word army. Have they ever thought what happens to the families of these people, have they ever thought that these guys may have wife, kid, siblings, parents, friends?
Let me throw some light...
They are humans like us with families and friends – with dreams and hope. Like a Army officer i know of - father to be when he was called to fight in the valley, his wife 5 months pregnant ,he made promises to buy pram and toys for the kids on his return…and left with many more such joyful thoughts. The father being and ex army officer sent his son to the war with pride, mother packed paratha's made in milk so that it remains soft for long, only later to receive the news that their son died a death of bravery. His younger sister then pregnant too was called from Delhi to Dehradun, on some pretext to meet parents, not knowing that when she reaches she will await with her parents for her brother’s coffin. My hands are shaking writing about happened 10 years back…as it shakes the very core of us even today.
The news on media fades and your candle flame dies – but life for these family go on…think of the young wife, who has to bring up a kid on her own, think of the kid, who has never seen her father and will grow up looking at papa’s pictures and listening to his stories, think of the sisters plight every year on festival called raakhi..think of the parents who now spend their life looking at the picture albums, and lie to each other hiding their pain, fearing they will add on to spouses pain if seen crying.
Life moves on for the world…but it stands still for the family who looses their son…media forgets the sacrifice in 20 days, minister forgets the speech on bravery in 20 minutes, but you visit that house after 20 years…you will still find the parents holding their son’s picture, the son they sent to fight the enemy at front for all of us…
For them the time stands still, and for this family I know the time stood still in August of 98…
Let me begin by sharing my encounter with some people with zero national character…those who are shame to our country
It was in year 1999 just before Kargil, I was having discussion with friends on bravery of our Army men and how they should be honored as they are willing to sacrifice their lives for the nation. And a friend shot back with an insensitive reply saying “well they join army knowing that they will die, they choose to die, so why worry?”
I still boil with anger when I think of that day, as this comment came when I was citing a heroic story of my cousin brother who had died just few months back in 34 hours encounter with terrorists in the valley...
and i get a reply “army men know they will die…and they choose to?"I wish I can go back in time and slap that person and tell him, that these men die to save civilians like himself , who rather than feeling thankful don’t even value the sacrifice?
9 years since and I hear another comment, well not that severe but still hurts “it is a known fact and not new, that it is not worth dying for this country”. I feel very sad when I think of those 1000’s of men who died to save people like these, rather than honoring them they make it look like an obvious mistake…
that is where I give up and feel that it was not worth it, when the people for whom our forces die for, the people who sleep in peace when our men take bullets at border…these very people, don’t even acknowledge their sacrifice and shamelessly take it for granted – that Army men are ready to fight war and die...that it is known that it is not worth dying for our country...
Well in all of this they very conveniently forget one word “men” attached to the word army. Have they ever thought what happens to the families of these people, have they ever thought that these guys may have wife, kid, siblings, parents, friends?
Let me throw some light...
They are humans like us with families and friends – with dreams and hope. Like a Army officer i know of - father to be when he was called to fight in the valley, his wife 5 months pregnant ,he made promises to buy pram and toys for the kids on his return…and left with many more such joyful thoughts. The father being and ex army officer sent his son to the war with pride, mother packed paratha's made in milk so that it remains soft for long, only later to receive the news that their son died a death of bravery. His younger sister then pregnant too was called from Delhi to Dehradun, on some pretext to meet parents, not knowing that when she reaches she will await with her parents for her brother’s coffin. My hands are shaking writing about happened 10 years back…as it shakes the very core of us even today.
The news on media fades and your candle flame dies – but life for these family go on…think of the young wife, who has to bring up a kid on her own, think of the kid, who has never seen her father and will grow up looking at papa’s pictures and listening to his stories, think of the sisters plight every year on festival called raakhi..think of the parents who now spend their life looking at the picture albums, and lie to each other hiding their pain, fearing they will add on to spouses pain if seen crying.
Life moves on for the world…but it stands still for the family who looses their son…media forgets the sacrifice in 20 days, minister forgets the speech on bravery in 20 minutes, but you visit that house after 20 years…you will still find the parents holding their son’s picture, the son they sent to fight the enemy at front for all of us…
For them the time stands still, and for this family I know the time stood still in August of 98…
Monday, December 01, 2008
You Wake up now?
Entire India has woken up to attacks today, saying enough is enough !!!
Why? Simple - Coz this time the attacks happened at the elitest of the lot. Till now the garbage picker, or chai wala or some other segment of the poor were getting killed, but today we have candle march as the rich is affected. My friend Deepak made an interesting comment saying “today the world is shaken, as the page 3 guys are affected, it is not new, people have died before, but now it is noticed as it happened to people who have a voice”
Mumbai was enlightened with new words– “NSG , Army , Commando“ now when it happened on it’s doorstep – well these guys had been in existence for long…they have had major operations even earlier, but Mumbai woke up to this fact today.
Forget the NSG which is a special team involved in special operations, how is it that Army is hero only today when they saw them in uniforms on Mumbai roads fighting for them? Why was their existence not acknowledged when they had been guarding our borders every day for years– war or no war. There are attacks every day, men die to save us every day, have we ever applauded them? Today we do as it happened inside Taj and Oberoi and not in the valley?
Our men had been dying in valley for years – there names do not even appear in newspapers, their death is reported in numbers…7 Army Men killed, or 2 officers killed…that is all…why we never got on to our feet then to salute, only because they died in valley and not in your own hometown?
You need them now when you want them to guard you as you pay taxes? You could not have insulted them more - they are not commodity to be purchased by your taxes, they are men with families like us. You need security so ask for it, ask, because as citizen you deserve it, not because you pay taxes…their lives cannot be measured by the taxes you pay. As my friend Saunak says "this duty certainly doesn't absolve by paying few thousands as taxes.... There's no price for sacrifice"
You want the security ? fine so fight their battle for them - have a march against those who are counting the number of eggs in their ration, saying 24 a month is too much, have a march to better their salaries, something which is pending clearance for long, help them fight those who question their CSD facility, have a march to give them better homes, fight for their better life…
You wake up now to the existence of our Defence forces, while there are 100’s of widows, who have been remembering their husband’s for more than a decade, all alone in their homes.
You wake up now as they showed that they can die for you in your own city, while you were totally blind to the fact,that for years they already had been dying for you, but in the unknown darkness of the valley.
Why? Simple - Coz this time the attacks happened at the elitest of the lot. Till now the garbage picker, or chai wala or some other segment of the poor were getting killed, but today we have candle march as the rich is affected. My friend Deepak made an interesting comment saying “today the world is shaken, as the page 3 guys are affected, it is not new, people have died before, but now it is noticed as it happened to people who have a voice”
Mumbai was enlightened with new words– “NSG , Army , Commando“ now when it happened on it’s doorstep – well these guys had been in existence for long…they have had major operations even earlier, but Mumbai woke up to this fact today.
Forget the NSG which is a special team involved in special operations, how is it that Army is hero only today when they saw them in uniforms on Mumbai roads fighting for them? Why was their existence not acknowledged when they had been guarding our borders every day for years– war or no war. There are attacks every day, men die to save us every day, have we ever applauded them? Today we do as it happened inside Taj and Oberoi and not in the valley?
Our men had been dying in valley for years – there names do not even appear in newspapers, their death is reported in numbers…7 Army Men killed, or 2 officers killed…that is all…why we never got on to our feet then to salute, only because they died in valley and not in your own hometown?
You need them now when you want them to guard you as you pay taxes? You could not have insulted them more - they are not commodity to be purchased by your taxes, they are men with families like us. You need security so ask for it, ask, because as citizen you deserve it, not because you pay taxes…their lives cannot be measured by the taxes you pay. As my friend Saunak says "this duty certainly doesn't absolve by paying few thousands as taxes.... There's no price for sacrifice"
You want the security ? fine so fight their battle for them - have a march against those who are counting the number of eggs in their ration, saying 24 a month is too much, have a march to better their salaries, something which is pending clearance for long, help them fight those who question their CSD facility, have a march to give them better homes, fight for their better life…
You wake up now to the existence of our Defence forces, while there are 100’s of widows, who have been remembering their husband’s for more than a decade, all alone in their homes.
You wake up now as they showed that they can die for you in your own city, while you were totally blind to the fact,that for years they already had been dying for you, but in the unknown darkness of the valley.
Friday, October 31, 2008
people you love
What you feel about others, only matters to you, but what you do for people you love matters to them.
Courtesy : Movie – The last kiss
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Sibling
Recently I was talking to a friend on how our generation is all about “one child only” philosophy, the debate went on that siblings are important to learn sharing, have memories etc and some how the conversation went to how my childhood and thought how my childhood would have been without my brother (2 ½ years elder to me).
I thought of my times as a kid, and I could not remember or think of any single memory without my brother. He was always there – everywhere. And then I learnt that my childhood would be so empty without him. Yes had I grown as a single child – I would not have anything to compare or miss…with totally new memories without him...but then, I do not want any childhood without him.
No no…we had our share of fights. We were never best of friends, nor are we today. We have a “Elder” brother and sister relation. He always strict on what I wore and whom I made friends with – even girls…but still I love him beyond words. I want him in every corner of my childhood and growing up.
I wonder if I choose the philosophy of 1 child only…I will be taking away privilege of so many memories the kid could have of the sibling, but then the debate goes on…with both parents working, parenting being so tough blah blah blah…
Well I do not have the answer to what is right…this post is written on yet another realization on how much I love my brother…and the times I had with him…even the horrible ones :)
I thought of my times as a kid, and I could not remember or think of any single memory without my brother. He was always there – everywhere. And then I learnt that my childhood would be so empty without him. Yes had I grown as a single child – I would not have anything to compare or miss…with totally new memories without him...but then, I do not want any childhood without him.
No no…we had our share of fights. We were never best of friends, nor are we today. We have a “Elder” brother and sister relation. He always strict on what I wore and whom I made friends with – even girls…but still I love him beyond words. I want him in every corner of my childhood and growing up.
I wonder if I choose the philosophy of 1 child only…I will be taking away privilege of so many memories the kid could have of the sibling, but then the debate goes on…with both parents working, parenting being so tough blah blah blah…
Well I do not have the answer to what is right…this post is written on yet another realization on how much I love my brother…and the times I had with him…even the horrible ones :)
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
In search of Gold !!!
It is not a defeat. Akhil Kumar despite loosing in the quarter finals has made India proud. He is the one who gave us hope and belief that we can and will win more medals, if not now, in future. He is the one who probably got attention of the viewers and sponsors to the non main sports in India. Very subtly sending the message out - saying, "we can do it ourselves, though it will help if the nation can stand by us". Lets support him, as much at this time, as we would have done, had he got the medal home.
No it is not a defeat. For it is likes of him, that will get the sponsors to notice talent in India which is trying to come up and do something all by themselves, it is likes of him, who are pride of the country. We the country at this point need to stand and applaud for Akhil, for he has made the country proud - by giving us a hope, and making us believe.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
sex market to be legal?
the recent episode of BPO girl being gang raped by 8 to 10 drivers in pune leaves our hearts beating and eyes opened. there cannot be a worst case of animal display, than group of sexually frustrated men ripping apart a girl in rape.
trying to understand why these men do what they do - no i am not giving my empathy...just trying to solve the problem by pinpointing the cause...
these men are sexually frustrated from childhood for many reasons...
1. lack of openness in our society to address sexual questions or discussions...hence these men are brought up in an environment where parents and society has build enough curiosity in their minds.
2. next - lack of sexual exposure, where one is forced to control his natural needs and wait for one day to get married and when he does - he treats his wife worse than how people treat sex workers…
3. post marriage – the rural or typical Indian girl is not allowed to be natural in bed (women are not suppose to have sexual desires you see), so they just 'be there' for their husbands …hence adding to his frustration
4. with unsatisfied desires, he starts looking at girls he thinks of, while f#@#$ his wife ...(he does exaclty that as knows not how to make love)…and ultimately plans to get her… if not her...some other...after all what difference does it make?
I guess we as a society need to bring this change together, for the frustrated animal (the man in question here) will not and cannot bring any change…
Think about it, why are the rape cases not too common in the so called modern group. The answer is, they are more exposed and open to the topic of sex, and also while growing up, somehow explore such opportunities - ofcourse with mutual consent…call it premarital or teenage sex, i dont care, but somewhere am glad that it satisfies their needs, hence creating lesser vultures in open.
Why can't parents be open about discussing sex with teenage children, rather than doing a hush hush job behind closed doors…kids today are not fools - treat them like adults !!!
I ask, what if we make sex legal ? I mean make it easy to buy, make it easily available and legal - commoditize it. It will give a vent to the frustration of these men, let them buy it easy and cheap and they may not find need to rape another innocent on the road.
I think it is time to treat this issue openly rather than conceal it…for more you conceal , more will it aggravate…
trying to understand why these men do what they do - no i am not giving my empathy...just trying to solve the problem by pinpointing the cause...
these men are sexually frustrated from childhood for many reasons...
1. lack of openness in our society to address sexual questions or discussions...hence these men are brought up in an environment where parents and society has build enough curiosity in their minds.
2. next - lack of sexual exposure, where one is forced to control his natural needs and wait for one day to get married and when he does - he treats his wife worse than how people treat sex workers…
3. post marriage – the rural or typical Indian girl is not allowed to be natural in bed (women are not suppose to have sexual desires you see), so they just 'be there' for their husbands …hence adding to his frustration
4. with unsatisfied desires, he starts looking at girls he thinks of, while f#@#$ his wife ...(he does exaclty that as knows not how to make love)…and ultimately plans to get her… if not her...some other...after all what difference does it make?
I guess we as a society need to bring this change together, for the frustrated animal (the man in question here) will not and cannot bring any change…
Think about it, why are the rape cases not too common in the so called modern group. The answer is, they are more exposed and open to the topic of sex, and also while growing up, somehow explore such opportunities - ofcourse with mutual consent…call it premarital or teenage sex, i dont care, but somewhere am glad that it satisfies their needs, hence creating lesser vultures in open.
Why can't parents be open about discussing sex with teenage children, rather than doing a hush hush job behind closed doors…kids today are not fools - treat them like adults !!!
I ask, what if we make sex legal ? I mean make it easy to buy, make it easily available and legal - commoditize it. It will give a vent to the frustration of these men, let them buy it easy and cheap and they may not find need to rape another innocent on the road.
I think it is time to treat this issue openly rather than conceal it…for more you conceal , more will it aggravate…
Friday, June 13, 2008
A friend in Hurt
Today I saw a friend hurt. Well, he is someone strong and always in control over his emotions and actions, now I know hurt can pierce any person.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
blog friends...
every blogger does a vanishing act from time to time...when he is over loaded with work and is unable to come to this world and connect with his blog or blog friends....i have done it in the past...and i know i have had messages from my online friends asking about me...(thanks deepali)
it is strange on how u become friends with those you have not met...perhaps not spoken to...but still miss when not around...
it is my time to be on other side....to miss, and not the one being missed...
a regular blog friend has not been regular for sometime now...and as surprised as i myself am...i miss him !!!
Cosmic - hope u listening...
it is strange on how u become friends with those you have not met...perhaps not spoken to...but still miss when not around...
it is my time to be on other side....to miss, and not the one being missed...
a regular blog friend has not been regular for sometime now...and as surprised as i myself am...i miss him !!!
Cosmic - hope u listening...
Punjabi By Nature
ever wondered why a bengali is so close to his own culture as a marathi is to his own...or a tamilian or a gujrati...i never thought of it as much till a recent trip i had to chandigargh.
I went for an official trip to Chandigargh when I understood what the meaning of "roots" is...it is something magical...though i am born in dehradun...brought up in many cities (dad being in IAF had to move every 3 years) for work I lived in Chennai, Bangalore, Delhi and now Mumbai....I practically have no identity...
on the streets of Chandigarh i could hear people speak punjabi (i don't speak the language well)...but it got my blood tingle...i saw the girls and guys .. sardars, and sardarni's - the look of punjabi totally stands out...i could feel my pulse raise when i was in the city...the patiala salwars, the kada's just the dilect....and then i knew..."that" was my root...
i have never given region any more importance than the nation - nor am i doing it now...but now i understand the magical power of roots....i have faint memories of visiting punjab as a kid to my grandma to Ludhiana...just a few days and nothing more...still my stepping into the city got my pulse ticking...that is when i understood what "roots" mean....i am an Indian....but also a - "punjabi by nature"
I went for an official trip to Chandigargh when I understood what the meaning of "roots" is...it is something magical...though i am born in dehradun...brought up in many cities (dad being in IAF had to move every 3 years) for work I lived in Chennai, Bangalore, Delhi and now Mumbai....I practically have no identity...
on the streets of Chandigarh i could hear people speak punjabi (i don't speak the language well)...but it got my blood tingle...i saw the girls and guys .. sardars, and sardarni's - the look of punjabi totally stands out...i could feel my pulse raise when i was in the city...the patiala salwars, the kada's just the dilect....and then i knew..."that" was my root...
i have never given region any more importance than the nation - nor am i doing it now...but now i understand the magical power of roots....i have faint memories of visiting punjab as a kid to my grandma to Ludhiana...just a few days and nothing more...still my stepping into the city got my pulse ticking...that is when i understood what "roots" mean....i am an Indian....but also a - "punjabi by nature"
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Are we safe in Mumbai ?
I touch upon the same topic again...North Indian's in the "Indian" city - Financial Capital of India - Mumbai.
What is happening, don't know where our country is going...this is what I did today - scared in a city of my own country...
I called SS and asked him to come home early - why? coz there is a Raj Thackeray's rally, and I do not trust how the crowd will react...
We - Northindians do not feel safe in this city of our own country...
What a Shame !!!
What is happening, don't know where our country is going...this is what I did today - scared in a city of my own country...
I called SS and asked him to come home early - why? coz there is a Raj Thackeray's rally, and I do not trust how the crowd will react...
We - Northindians do not feel safe in this city of our own country...
What a Shame !!!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
if i haven't changed yet ... i will not change now...
well, this is what came out when i was chatting with a friend after 6 years, we worked together...so much has happened since then in our respective lives, ups and downs, rather many ups and many downs...after chatting for a while she said
- "hey you have not changed a bit...please never change and just be what you are - just the same..."
i glanced back at the last 6 years ... smiled - and also pleasantly surprised that all those years 'actually' did not impact me adversely...
i said...
"if i haven't changed yet ... i will not change now..."
- "hey you have not changed a bit...please never change and just be what you are - just the same..."
i glanced back at the last 6 years ... smiled - and also pleasantly surprised that all those years 'actually' did not impact me adversely...
i said...
"if i haven't changed yet ... i will not change now..."
I feel lost
It has been months since i have blogged, and not sure if i can be regular still...
I have said it earlier... writing is one thing that relaxes me...keeps me happy...and that is one thing i somehow cannot make time for in my turbo busy life...such an irony !!!
I have said it earlier... writing is one thing that relaxes me...keeps me happy...and that is one thing i somehow cannot make time for in my turbo busy life...such an irony !!!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Typical Delhi Attitude??
what the hell does this mean????
we interviewed a candidate today and asked for feeback from the interviewer, and i got an answer "he has a typical delhi attitude" and 4 people on the table started laughing, i asked what does that mean? i got a reply " every one around understood what i said" - i asked again..."no i did not - so please explain"....i get the answer " they think of themselves as something big even if they are not"...
well how can you generalize things like this - i call THAT an attitude...i cannot believe how much hatred people in mumbai have against north indian's or delhietes...
at one end raj thakckrey wants to throw out all the n-indians from the city and on the other hand in a corporate environment i hear such comments from these educated force...
such a shame...
can they not read the word INDIAN behind it....? we are all indian's before we are any regional person...have they not learnt anything after the british rule, that dividing the country gets you no good...
i was so hurt and insulted on the statement made...what is a delhi attitude man? you find good and ugly people all over...if beating taxi drivers on the road for being from UP is your mumbai attitude...then not worth it...if discriminating your own fellow indians is mumbai attitude?
my entire family has served indian defence forces and we lost a son from the family too in the war...all to safeguard the nation...only not knowing that nation does not consider it as one....
i have no words to speak....
we interviewed a candidate today and asked for feeback from the interviewer, and i got an answer "he has a typical delhi attitude" and 4 people on the table started laughing, i asked what does that mean? i got a reply " every one around understood what i said" - i asked again..."no i did not - so please explain"....i get the answer " they think of themselves as something big even if they are not"...
well how can you generalize things like this - i call THAT an attitude...i cannot believe how much hatred people in mumbai have against north indian's or delhietes...
at one end raj thakckrey wants to throw out all the n-indians from the city and on the other hand in a corporate environment i hear such comments from these educated force...
such a shame...
can they not read the word INDIAN behind it....? we are all indian's before we are any regional person...have they not learnt anything after the british rule, that dividing the country gets you no good...
i was so hurt and insulted on the statement made...what is a delhi attitude man? you find good and ugly people all over...if beating taxi drivers on the road for being from UP is your mumbai attitude...then not worth it...if discriminating your own fellow indians is mumbai attitude?
my entire family has served indian defence forces and we lost a son from the family too in the war...all to safeguard the nation...only not knowing that nation does not consider it as one....
i have no words to speak....
Thursday, January 03, 2008
feeling special....
this is what technology and power of online marketing do to you...
my friend deepali made me feel so special sending me new year wishes in a unique online way!!!
makes me feel so special :)
take a look....
my friend deepali made me feel so special sending me new year wishes in a unique online way!!!
makes me feel so special :)
take a look....
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
new year resolution 2008
they are not much different from last year ... which only shows that i did not follow them last year...!!!
so the first one will be
1 - not to break the new year resolution
2 - take time out for my guitar (roll over from 2007)
3 - take time out for reading (roll over from 2007)
4 - exercise
so the first one will be
1 - not to break the new year resolution
2 - take time out for my guitar (roll over from 2007)
3 - take time out for reading (roll over from 2007)
4 - exercise
i feel cold !!!
typically i feel 1 or 2 degree colder than it typically is...and i keep telling friends that i come with a statutory warning to "store in warm place"...
(ya ! i feel that cold even in Mumbai's so called winters)
(ya ! i feel that cold even in Mumbai's so called winters)
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