feels just like love

it feels just like love
but it is not
it hurts just like love
as i miss u a lot
i long like one in love
wishing the distances were short
yes it feels just like love
but it is not

i wish we had stayed longer
i wish we had spoken some more
i wish we did not have to part ways
i wish we could be together for some more days

need to meet you again
need to talk just once more
to see that look in your eyes
that makes my heart swell to core

kill the distance that separates us
bridge the difference in what we speak
i know we connect beyond this life
our ties are not that weak

i dont know your name
i dont know where you belong
doesn't matter if you married or not
still for you I sing this song

we shall meet again for sure
i shall meet your children too
i know i am not alone in this
and you too wish to see me soon

we are meant to meet again
it does sounds like a similar plot
yes...it feels just like love, i know
but let me tell you...that it is not...

message in the bottle

i am heartbroken since yesterday, and regret the moment i picked up the book called "message in the bottle". it had been on my bookshelf for about 3 years now, and i damn the moment when y'day morning i picked it up to read ...

books, like cigarettes or adult films should come with a warning too - and this one surely should have carried one that said "not for the weak hearted" and i would not have touched it

the book is a love story with a fairytale affect....there cannot be a better romance than two people falling in love, covering time, distance, hurdles and falling truly, deeply & madly in love...nothing can be more beautiful than that...just pure love and romance...deeper than the ocean , softer than the cloud, larger than the sky...that love is beyond all limits and comprehension of a regular human mind. i experience this kind of love everyday every moment - i just close my eyes and i see him – us, in the everlasting love for one another...

what i dont like and understand is the authors wicked mind to manipulate human mind and emotions, they purposely end their book with a tragedy just to make the book work, as a tragedy remains in mind and talked about.

what they dont understand is that it breaks people like me into million pieces seeing the two in love not able to meet. i cannot see one of them lonely, longing to be together. I cannot see them separated and living a life without the other, as i'd rather die than live without the one i love...

it hurts beyond words...and just for the fun of it, the money and fame, authors end up committing the biggest crime their pen ever can...

separate the souls that were meant to be togehter…

women are born with a tag saying - handle with care

i wish i were a writer

i wish i were a writer,
who could write my mind out,
without the fears of the world
not caring that i am too loud

i wish i were a writer
who could speak as my heart says
not being shy of the words
just following it's own ways

i wish i were a writer
and could write how Leonardo paints
as strokes of his color speak
my words could paint the frame

i wish i were a writer
and could write how Mozart plays
his magical fingers on the keys
could be my writing on the lanes

i wish i were a writer
who could touch your heart
you sleep with my words on mind
and wish the same, when your day starts

i wish i were a writer
who knew how to write well
so you read what my mind speak
and makes your heart swell

i wish i were a writer
that you fall in love with too
for all my words i write
i write my love, only for you

heartbreak

Broken promise, soul in pain.
Wounded heart, shattered dream.
Will I ever love again?

In love

First drop of rain.
I feel like a teenager.
In love once again.

what heart desires

My eyes were following him all evening, waiting for the right moment to speak.Should I or should I not, was the question I had been debating. My heart said “speak” and mind “don’t”, after all I know nothing about him, apart from the fact that he makes my heart beat every time I see him.Yes, he is the one, as I have never felt this way before, so I decided and moved forward.I was close enough to speak, when she came and smilingly whispered something in his ears, he looked into her eyes, brushed her beautiful cheek with his lips, put his arm around her thin waist, and walked away. Standing there watching this, my eyes could not stop the drops that fell, and my heart has not stopped crying since, I wonder “why does God make us desire what we cannot get?”

i love - being in love

i love when i love things around
i love when i get to laugh
i love when my heart feels happy
i love when i love people around me
i love it when i see the bright side of life
i love it when i get to do what my heart desires
i love it when i am not sad
i love it when i hum my favorite song
i love it when i feel special
i love it when he makes me feel special
i love it when he looks into my eyes
i love it when i look into his eyes
i love it when he smiles to me
i love to spend time with him
i love to be just next to him
i love it when we hold each other
i love it when we laugh together
i love it when we talk together
i just love the feel of love...
and being in love !!!

Those who touch my heart...

At times you get along with people who are so similar to you as if looking into the mirror, and other times you get attracted to someone who is totally unlike you, as if standing on opposite poles. Is there any logic to that? I don’t think so…

I met whole lot of people yesterday, people I did not know too well. During the evening I got to know some … just being with them got me thinking, how different is one person from another…God has made us all so unique and i will remember all of them...but for totally different reasons.

Some for their carefree self, some for the silent sober self, some jovial, some classy, some fun, intelligent, and some – for no reason in particular, but just the fact that they touched my heart.

I am intrigued by the last category – as I wonder why that happens. It is easy to understand about the others, if I am a fun person, I would have fun with the fun loving one, if I am an introvert – I might sit next to the silent person and probably philosophize about life, crack jokes with the funny counterpart but how do I know, why someone touched me for no reason at all? I was thinking about it and could get no answer…I tried to analyze it too, similarities between us? differences, likings, disliking, thinking? ... I also tried coming out with the age old theory of "Aura" :) … may be that had some role to play…but how will aura talk when we don’t meet ?…I was bombed. I had no answer there. As no matter how many queries I ran in my mind to get the answer - I got none…

But it happens – I am sure it happens with you too. There are few friends of mine whom I love from the word go…why? I am not sure. I may or may not be in regular touch with them, but I always - always think of them fondly, and will keep doing so – we may not share similar views, tastes, lives etc but – I still hold them so close to me – as they are the ones who for no reason I can think of - simply touched my heart.

I give up my struggle to look for the answer here. And quietly accept the fact that there will always be some people, like the one I met y'day and my friends I mentioned, who for no reason that I can understand – will simply come in my life and touch my heart – I treasure them all !!!

life of 20 somethings...

last week i had spent lot of time, rather some time with lot of people of 20 somethings...the 20 somethings live in a totally different world, different priorities . yeah once i was that too, but now when i look back, feels like such a journey.

my 20 something girlfriends could only think about the choices they had to wear to the next party they were off to, what to reveal and what to hide, which party to go to from the choices they had, what moves they can make with the guys this time. the weekends for them arrive not for relaxing and finish the unfinished tasks of the week, but for getting sloshed, making out and making the most of it by staying outdoors all night long. The guys i met live pretty much similar life, though i did not know their complete itinerary but from what i understood, their weekends are no different, if anything must be wilder...

i was on this trip some years back, yeah have been there and loved it, and thought that is how life is meant to be...so live it ...which i happily did. But somehow i never knew when and how the tracks got changed, the transition was so gradual and natural that i did not feel it happen, and one fine day i realized that i was in that space no more, surprisingly i didn't long to be there or miss it...contrary to my belief then, that 'it was the only way to live'... now i guess i was reading different definitions...

after a long days work i now want to come back home to be comfortable, read a book, share time with spouse, watch TV or write (always a welcome thought) :) life changes ... it takes its own course, it has its own ways.

so i guess it is time for these kids to party and they should...coz one day without their knowledge tracks will change for them too...

till then, while things are the way they are for them...

...let kids have all the fun...

always makes me fall in love

when i want to watch a nice movie and don't want it wrong...i pick up love actually and watch...it never goes wrong :)

makes me feel beautiful, leaves a feeling that the world is such a beautiful place, full of love and joy. i want to hug any and everyone i know and meet, feel like pick my phone and call all friends and tell them how much i love them (next time u get a call from me...you know why and how), makes me wanna love people around, give them joy, make them feel that they are cared... it is so full of love...in all forms...

the movie makes me fall in love - with love itself...

love

another thing about romance is that people get together right in the very end...

courtesy - movie love actually

finally infy did it too...

it has happened...when we had just about believed the likes of Infy and TATA cannot do it...came a blow to prove us wrong.

Infosys did it too...laid off 2100 employees, yes they say poor performance, but we read the hidden message here 'poor economy'

Are the companies laying off to be blamed...? i am not sure. All i can say is, if the company laying off has enuff money to last this turbulence, not one employee should be touched...coz it is these very employees who helped them grow, and when the ship is rocking just a bit, you ask them to get off...? the point is, many companies are using recession as an excuse to cut cost and better the margins.

I say, if survival is an issue then ...maybe, else there is no way you should do it ... no other reason is justified...

wonder if there can be a committee to audit this kinda stuff !!!

if you are a good loser, you are a loser.

i am such a bad loser, be it a game or a bet ...it stays with me and i actually work hard to come out of it...

they say, have sportsman spirit, yeah i have that, and that's the reason i play and want to win !!! else why compete if you are ok losing? most of you who read this will frown or even call me names for being such a b$#@$...

what the hell...i am what i am...and am glad to know that i am not the only one, i heard a friend say yesterday..."if you are a good loser, you are a loser" wow !!! that shows i am not the only one, i have some like minded people around !!!

take me home...

I heard it again. And it still hurts.

I am tired of listening to Mumbaikars generalize north Indians as rude, aggressive, ruthless souls. These traits are found all around and not just exclusive to northindians…

Today looking at a guy from Jaipur who is soft spoken, a friend said “ he’s a northindian, a welcome change” . I only say, do not generalize. Coz when you do that it takes every northindian including my husband father, Tauji and many others into the same bucket …they, who are most polite people on this earth.

I am aggressive I agree…I have a voice and opinion, not because I am a northindian it is because “it is me”, and the way I have been brought up, with a right to speak my mind always. It is individuality of people and not a broad generalization.

I have not seen this in any other city but only in Mumbai…. So much of hatred / discrimination towards north Indians. I will say again… I am an Indian first, and I want to live with as much right as you do in a city of my own country…but things like this make me hate the city as much…and I wonder when destiny will take me to a city of my country where I am welcome.

sin before mercy

starting a diet plan tomorrow...(gained loads of weight)....so my final sin of cheese and nachos happening in some time...

i live my dreams in my dreams.

i mean this literally... there are few things in life that i want so desperately...well, as the waking PK does not have it...i get to achieve them while i am happily asleep - may be the subconscious is still awake longing for it... the the fun part is, i get joy achieving / getting it even in dreams and the next day for me is the most beautiful one :)

don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future..

courtesy ...one of the forwards i received today....

Woman Of Substance

What does this actually mean? for me it means a woman who has belief, ambition, drive to do something and does it against all the forces that might try stop her.

She does not need to be a major business tycoon or wife of a biggie or one with some political or other power. For me a woman of substance is the one who has conviction, drive, the killer instinct to do it and goes behind it, all out.

Her being successful in task is not as important as her belief and commitment in doing so.

She may be a maid, who wakes up early morning, gets her kids ready for school that she can hardly afford, works all day in 8-10 houses, secretly saves money for rainy days- always believing that she will give her kids a life that she never had.

She may be a farmer’s wife, who starts working in field before sunrise and works through sunset - believing that the field she works in as a daily wage earner will be hers one day.

It may be a woman from working class who goes through struggle of life day in and day out - not only wanting to but knows it will make a difference in her and her children's life

or could be the business woman who wants to make big in the men dominated business world …

There are many forms of my woman of substance, but for now I want to narrate a story of a particular one …

She was born in a conservative joint family in a city of Punjab, where girls were sent to school with male escorts (brothers, uncles or a trusted male servant), girls always covered from head to toe, not allowed to mingle with many friends, it goes without saying, they would be grounded for months if seen as much as just talking to a boy.

The idea was to give basic education to the girl, so that she can be married off at the earliest to some businessman or a sarkari / office baboo making good money, have kids and serve husband and family as a good Indian housewife.

But she had a dream - to break free from this life, and live a life 'with' her and not 'for' her family... hence unlike her sisters she accepted a marriage proposal from outside Punjab, to an Airforce officer, where the life was not about only raising children, it meant having one’s own identity. A life away from the usual sunrise to sunset household routine. She argued back the objections raised by the family on challenges she may face - she was determined to beak free.

During the courtship they exchanged letters in two languages…she wrote in Hindi and got reply in English. On her fiancee‘s request she started writing back in English – irrespective of how the grammar or language might sound. From that point she knew that her life was about to change.

The docile girl from a city of Punjab got married and moved from city to city with postings. The life, culture and people were different, she coming from a tee teetotaler vegetarian family was surprised to see alcohol flowing in the messes. At every step there was a choice she had to make, either move away from the situation and get into a shell, or come out and adapt to the situation. The first meant, leading her life with her husband and kids at home with no or very less social life, and the other meant to compromise and adjust to the new way of life and thinking. She chose the second, and learnt to strike a perfect balance between the new life and her belief’s.

When she overcome the adjustments of social differences mentioned above, she found some new problems awaiting her. As she wanted to do more than just socialize and move around in messes, hence started teaching in a unit school. People around her, in school and in general showed sense of superiority because of their background and good command over English. Today it sounds funny thinking about this, as every kid is born speaking English. But think of the time, when this girl was time and again let down as she was not comfortable speaking the language. That is when she decided to study further, and do her Masters …in English. Since that time there was no looking back for her. Determined like a tigress, never again wanting to be talked down, she further went ahead in doing her BEd. Took English as her core subject started teaching junior classes and moved to teaching the board classes of Xth and XIIth in Delhi, with 20+ years exp she is now HOD of a leading school in NCR.

Today with her expertise on the subject, she is consulted within the family if one has a doubt on any facet of grammar or usage of the language. She is the final verdict when it comes to getting answers for bets or challenges within.

With time she had became more and more independent, and when her husband got affected by asthma, she took charge of the situation, packed kids to bed or neighbors house, kick started a bajaj scooter, and rode miles from a remotely located airforce station to the MH (military hospital) in city, with her husband panting for breath on back seat. She did this not once, but many times, be it day or night, she would never lose her nerve, always kept her calm for her husband and little kids. This only those can do who have a drive and belief in themselves.

She always stood strong like a pillar for her family. In rough times, the once meek girl from Punjab, stood strong in storms of life, and supported her husband and children, assured them and saw to it that they sailed through. Without her strength her family, her children would have been long broken. She is the house of willpower with which she fights her battles. If needed she will even make way with God and not let any harm touch her family.

For me, she, - my mother - is a woman of substance !!!

New age Schindlers for the new age Holocaust

Holocaust = Layoff’s
Schindlers = Managers

In past few months I have seen and heard many horrid stories of layoff’s, the way it is done, methods used, reasons quoted, terms it is done on…

In the midst of this bloodbath we fail to notice the hidden Schindlers, who try saving as many jobs as they can, or jobs of specific few…what ever is in their power, they help or try to...

I have also seen few cases where one has volunteered to be laid off in turn to save someone’s else’s job who is in need…HATS OFF…

Every day I admire a manager who makes an endless attempt to save one more casualty...and I see such examples more than you may imagine.

This post of mine is dedicated to all those Schindlers who are fighting with all their might...to save just one more soul if they can !!!

Holocaust did not last for ever …nor will this…so lets keep our strength together and try to be a Schindler in what ever way we can… after all, after decades we still remember Schindler, as much as we do the said genocide.

i dont expect much humanity from human race anyways...

grow up !!!

how can u hold something that happened 9 to 10 years back as kids...that i dont even remember now and still be angry...

oh man will you ever grow up and behave like mature being?

i can't continue our argument that we left 10 years back when we were last in touch (perhaps met few times after that)...i have grown and moved on...too bad that you still live in 98....

mentality of indian women

so what if i have balls to do what i want to, and stand up to my rights - against the society, family and friends...so what if i have not made myself into a baby making machine like what is expected of a typical indian girl...so what if i want to lead my life my way and dont want to live terms dictated by parents, inlaws or husband

it does not make me any lesser women / person than you - or anyone for that matter ...

do we need to explain

when you know the reasons for your actions, and the world does not...they tend to judge you...

so...must u go all out to explain "why's" for actions...or let it be?