Sibling

Recently I was talking to a friend on how our generation is all about “one child only” philosophy, the debate went on that siblings are important to learn sharing, have memories etc and some how the conversation went to how my childhood and thought how my childhood would have been without my brother (2 ½ years elder to me).

I thought of my times as a kid, and I could not remember or think of any single memory without my brother. He was always there – everywhere. And then I learnt that my childhood would be so empty without him. Yes had I grown as a single child – I would not have anything to compare or miss…with totally new memories without him...but then, I do not want any childhood without him.

No no…we had our share of fights. We were never best of friends, nor are we today. We have a “Elder” brother and sister relation. He always strict on what I wore and whom I made friends with – even girls…but still I love him beyond words. I want him in every corner of my childhood and growing up.

I wonder if I choose the philosophy of 1 child only…I will be taking away privilege of so many memories the kid could have of the sibling, but then the debate goes on…with both parents working, parenting being so tough blah blah blah…

Well I do not have the answer to what is right…this post is written on yet another realization on how much I love my brother…and the times I had with him…even the horrible ones :)

In search of Gold !!!

It is not a defeat. Akhil Kumar despite loosing in the quarter finals has made India proud. He is the one who gave us hope and belief that we can and will win more medals, if not now, in future. He is the one who probably got attention of the viewers and sponsors to the non main sports in India. Very subtly sending the message out - saying, "we can do it ourselves, though it will help if the nation can stand by us". Lets support him, as much at this time, as we would have done, had he got the medal home.

No it is not a defeat. For it is likes of him, that will get the sponsors to notice talent in India which is trying to come up and do something all by themselves, it is likes of him, who are pride of the country. We the country at this point need to stand and applaud for Akhil, for he has made the country proud - by giving us a hope, and making us believe.

sex market to be legal?

the recent episode of BPO girl being gang raped by 8 to 10 drivers in pune leaves our hearts beating and eyes opened. there cannot be a worst case of animal display, than group of sexually frustrated men ripping apart a girl in rape.

trying to understand why these men do what they do - no i am not giving my empathy...just trying to solve the problem by pinpointing the cause...

these men are sexually frustrated from childhood for many reasons...
1. lack of openness in our society to address sexual questions or discussions...hence these men are brought up in an environment where parents and society has build enough curiosity in their minds.
2. next - lack of sexual exposure, where one is forced to control his natural needs and wait for one day to get married and when he does - he treats his wife worse than how people treat sex workers…
3. post marriage – the rural or typical Indian girl is not allowed to be natural in bed (women are not suppose to have sexual desires you see), so they just 'be there' for their husbands …hence adding to his frustration
4. with unsatisfied desires, he starts looking at girls he thinks of, while f#@#$ his wife ...(he does exaclty that as knows not how to make love)…and ultimately plans to get her… if not her...some other...after all what difference does it make?

I guess we as a society need to bring this change together, for the frustrated animal (the man in question here) will not and cannot bring any change…

Think about it, why are the rape cases not too common in the so called modern group. The answer is, they are more exposed and open to the topic of sex, and also while growing up, somehow explore such opportunities - ofcourse with mutual consent…call it premarital or teenage sex, i dont care, but somewhere am glad that it satisfies their needs, hence creating lesser vultures in open.

Why can't parents be open about discussing sex with teenage children, rather than doing a hush hush job behind closed doors…kids today are not fools - treat them like adults !!!

I ask, what if we make sex legal ? I mean make it easy to buy, make it easily available and legal - commoditize it. It will give a vent to the frustration of these men, let them buy it easy and cheap and they may not find need to rape another innocent on the road.

I think it is time to treat this issue openly rather than conceal it…for more you conceal , more will it aggravate…

A friend in Hurt

Today I saw a friend hurt. Well, he is someone strong and always in control over his emotions and actions, now I know hurt can pierce any person.

He has gone around to help a whole lot of people, and end of the day it was taken for granted and sort of thanklessness…

I saw his eyes moist, red almost about to come let go of tears…I feel so bad … so bad…

Hope there was something I could do to help…but there is nothing

blog friends...

every blogger does a vanishing act from time to time...when he is over loaded with work and is unable to come to this world and connect with his blog or blog friends....i have done it in the past...and i know i have had messages from my online friends asking about me...(thanks deepali)

it is strange on how u become friends with those you have not met...perhaps not spoken to...but still miss when not around...

it is my time to be on other side....to miss, and not the one being missed...

a regular blog friend has not been regular for sometime now...and as surprised as i myself am...i miss him !!!

Cosmic - hope u listening...

Punjabi By Nature

ever wondered why a bengali is so close to his own culture as a marathi is to his own...or a tamilian or a gujrati...i never thought of it as much till a recent trip i had to chandigargh.

I went for an official trip to Chandigargh when I understood what the meaning of "roots" is...it is something magical...though i am born in dehradun...brought up in many cities (dad being in IAF had to move every 3 years) for work I lived in Chennai, Bangalore, Delhi and now Mumbai....I practically have no identity...

on the streets of Chandigarh i could hear people speak punjabi (i don't speak the language well)...but it got my blood tingle...i saw the girls and guys .. sardars, and sardarni's - the look of punjabi totally stands out...i could feel my pulse raise when i was in the city...the patiala salwars, the kada's just the dilect....and then i knew..."that" was my root...

i have never given region any more importance than the nation - nor am i doing it now...but now i understand the magical power of roots....i have faint memories of visiting punjab as a kid to my grandma to Ludhiana...just a few days and nothing more...still my stepping into the city got my pulse ticking...that is when i understood what "roots" mean....i am an Indian....but also a - "punjabi by nature"

Are we safe in Mumbai ?

I touch upon the same topic again...North Indian's in the "Indian" city - Financial Capital of India - Mumbai.

What is happening, don't know where our country is going...this is what I did today - scared in a city of my own country...

I called SS and asked him to come home early - why? coz there is a Raj Thackeray's rally, and I do not trust how the crowd will react...

We - Northindians do not feel safe in this city of our own country...

What a Shame !!!

if i haven't changed yet ... i will not change now...

well, this is what came out when i was chatting with a friend after 6 years, we worked together...so much has happened since then in our respective lives, ups and downs, rather many ups and many downs...after chatting for a while she said

- "hey you have not changed a bit...please never change and just be what you are - just the same..."

i glanced back at the last 6 years ... smiled - and also pleasantly surprised that all those years 'actually' did not impact me adversely...

i said...

"if i haven't changed yet ... i will not change now..."

I feel lost

It has been months since i have blogged, and not sure if i can be regular still...
I have said it earlier... writing is one thing that relaxes me...keeps me happy...and that is one thing i somehow cannot make time for in my turbo busy life...such an irony !!!

Typical Delhi Attitude??

what the hell does this mean????

we interviewed a candidate today and asked for feeback from the interviewer, and i got an answer "he has a typical delhi attitude" and 4 people on the table started laughing, i asked what does that mean? i got a reply " every one around understood what i said" - i asked again..."no i did not - so please explain"....i get the answer " they think of themselves as something big even if they are not"...

well how can you generalize things like this - i call THAT an attitude...i cannot believe how much hatred people in mumbai have against north indian's or delhietes...

at one end raj thakckrey wants to throw out all the n-indians from the city and on the other hand in a corporate environment i hear such comments from these educated force...

such a shame...

can they not read the word INDIAN behind it....? we are all indian's before we are any regional person...have they not learnt anything after the british rule, that dividing the country gets you no good...

i was so hurt and insulted on the statement made...what is a delhi attitude man? you find good and ugly people all over...if beating taxi drivers on the road for being from UP is your mumbai attitude...then not worth it...if discriminating your own fellow indians is mumbai attitude?

my entire family has served indian defence forces and we lost a son from the family too in the war...all to safeguard the nation...only not knowing that nation does not consider it as one....

i have no words to speak....