back or white

back or white
love or hate...

...there is never a midway for me

Citibank – "Citi "Never sleeps…

So very true…coz the bank officials sleep and the customers in the citi have sleepless nights…

I have never seen more lax service from anyone….without getting into details….I applied for a PL about a month back (11 Nov)…with promise to service me within 4 working days…I had promptly given all my documents etc….and after 3 week of my giving the doc’s (I had still not received my money)…I referred a friend (around 10 Dec).

Today post a month I am still waiting .. following up with them…they are not taking my calls…lame excuses….oh by the way my friend has got the PL already….

And the best is …they want my company to do business with them…if they could not service one person…how will they service the rest !!!

Well so apt – Citibank – once you bank with us “the citi never sleeps” coz the bank gives them painful sleepless nights…

there is nothing wrong with being anti marriage

i feel - if more women had the guts (i wanted to use the word balls) to be on their own and independent....u will see many more single woman…all saying they do not believe in institution of marriage…

a blog buddy

going back to last saturday, when i met deepali and she introduced me to all saying "she is my blog friend"...well it was cute and "new" me a blog friend...

but somehow that put an invisible responsibility on my shoulders to write regular and write well...as i had to meet deepali's standard to keep up the status / tag of her 'blog friend' ...what if her colleagues/friends want to check out the blog...

well for those who happen to trespass my blog...here is a disclaimer for you

"sorry if you are disappointed by what you read here...i ain't as good as MY "blog buddy" - deepali"

"deepali - here u go...this is the post that i wanted to write and was contemplating ... naah i know u wouldn't kill me for this"

I wish I had 10 hands to do multitasking….

i am dying with over load of work...but i kind of do not crib as i LOVE my work...well i am in HR...and for all those people who think that the HR folks do nothing but sit on their fat asses (not necessarily applicable to me - both the fat ass and not do anything part)...here is one person...who has no time to breathe...

there was a phase last month where i went without a meal for more then 24 hrs as at work had no time to eat and reached home post midnight just to crash and start again...

i got an ultimatum from SS yesterday, who has to get up at 6 AM to leave home at 8 everyday, who gets disturbed with the lights on and my key board making endless "tick tick " noise...he says..."light will be off by 10 from tomorrow and you will sleep..." 10? what a joke...i actually start working post 7 or 8 when people leave and there is no one to distract and pull me into endless meetings to manage crises...

i really really wish i had more hands to do multitasking....for once i need a vacation...i am going to fall ill...

I will be hospitalized soon for over stress !!!

Only if a day had more than 24 hours..

i wouldn't have so much work to carry forward...i missed working one weekend (sat visited a friend and sun went for movie) it took me 2 weeks behind my work already...

double "cosmic" relation

i believe in stars, destiny, fate, etc...and meeting deepali yesterday, we have no connection from the past, got to know each other on net and became friends, and i actually like knowing her, if it is not the "cosmic" karma then what? and this is a double cosmic karma, one for the planets and the stars that drives the world and other ... we came to know each other thru cosmic of cosmicjoy.blogspot fame...hence this is a friendship of double cosmic relation...the "cosmic" karma :)

i hate lies

tell me the truth even if it hurts, coz if i know u had lied, that will hurt me even more...

both in relationships and work...

i cannot tolerate excuses and further... lies to cover up negligence at work, if you have not delivered it is ok, but have the courage to own up to it, don't tell me the white f*****g lie...tell the truth and i will back you to no end

Our very own “Butt Man”

When I saw the song for the first time I was overly surprised and very amused. I am talking about the song from sanwariya where Kapoor Junior Junior is crossing the lines in the Men’s world of exposing…

I was laughing thinking “finally men realize that woman have adrenaline effect as well and here is one guy who is trying to seduce young girls into theatres by flashing the otherwise never visible skin” may be he is starting a trend of men exposing, and next you see men refusing movies for too much of skin show in films…funny…!!!

Well talking about the man in question here, Ranbir Kapoor, it totally reminds me of Brad Pitt in Troy flashing his butt, and here our Indian “butt man” with his teasers behind the towel and leg show…

Well I hope it did what he expected it to do to all the young girls out there – increase their adrenaline levels….

No time to bust stress

Writing is my biggest stress buster, and I have no time to do the same. It is surprising that we work too hard to get a good life and live and do what we want to, and while working the way we do, it does not let us do exactly that …in my case…writing and play guitar...

Though my absence was felt by some friends, I thank ‘cosmic, deepali and starkat’ to ask and be concerned about my long unexplained absence…

smell of diwali

when i was growing up...every year about 10-20 days before and till diwali i smelt a sweet smell in the air...as if indicating to me that diwali / winter was nearing...

in the evenings i felt the chill year after year and smelt the familiar smell (may be of sweets getting made all over in sweet shops)...i at times thot it was the indication and smell of delhi winter...

very surprisingly this evening when i walked out of the office today at about 9:30 PM... i got hit by the same familiar smell...and a slight (ofcourse not as strong as in Delhi) chill indicating onset of winters...and yes...diwali is about 10 - 15 days away...so it was not a city centric thing...

surprising !!!

wonder if any of u ever smelt it?

friend for life

i have a friend, who is always a bit watchful of what he says, or does. Has this line - and invisible laxman rekha drawn for a fear no girl should enter a territory that she should not...

but not all girls want to enter there...some can just be friends ...

may be he fears that the girl will get attached or may be he will??? or is it that he does not want to share too much? may be he is the one who is scared of intimacy of friendship ...closed to the idea of sharing...

i fear .. if one is too watchful, scared to let people enter the inner circle of friendship...he runs a risk of being alone...

don't know about the rest...but in my case i want to tell him...

"put your guards down, and you just might find a friend to keep for life..."

men will always remain on mars

as many promises........................as many hopes
as many changes..........................as many indications
as many tries................................as many wishes
as many commitments................as many prayers
as many preaching.......................as many request
as many pleading.........................as many cries
as many pledges..........................as many mistakes
as many failures..........................as many learnings
as many pitfalls...........................as many question
as many answers........................as many climbs
as many falls................................as many frustrations
as many chances

...nothing helps

men will be men, and always remain on mars...

i am so inspired...

the movies

where people achieved the heights they did despite the adversities...

- beautiful mind - story of John Nash, who despite his medical situation with sheer passion won a nobel prize

- erin brockovich - a non lawyer, single mother of 3...with a absolute passion of work and care for people she moved the roots of a 28 billion $ company and won one of the biggest lawsuit of its time

and finally...don't laugh...

- meet the robinson, ya the animated movie...made for kids, but inspires me too...they way he thought and followed - "keep moving forward" :) makes me move forard too....

powerful love stories

the two most powerful love movies i have seen...

- love story
- hum dil de chuke sanam

both full of pain and form of true love that goes beyond self (not just love for each other)...ultimate

A tribute to Capt Tarun Kumar

Lt Col V K Trihma (my Tayaji) once told his son Tarun Kumar (my cousin)

"Son do something in life that makes me proud and people know me as your father rather than you as my son"

My cousin fought at the border in Kashmir and sacrificed his life saving the nation, including you and me, he made not only his dad but entire country proud...

today...Tauji is known as Capt Tarun Kumar's Father!!!

Bhaiya, we miss you!!!

i am in love for the 68th time

when ever i see his movie i yet again fall in love with Hugh Grant !!!

i hate migraines

why cant there be no cure for it...after all it is a pain...

thanks deepak for taking me to the doc at 2 AM, lucky that you were in town!!!

sorry

sorry, very easy for you to say, but it does not undo what has happened, it cannot take away the pain it caused me ...as the hurt is so deep, i cannot forget, and if cannot forget i cannot forgive - i am sorry !!!

mumbai traffic...

I cannot understand, why and how the financial capital of India is left in the condition it is left to....mumbai... i stay in suburbs...there are only 3 roads in our part of the world....
Link road, SV road, and WE highway...and entire mumbai will be found clogging these 3 roads morning from 8:30 to 11 and evening from 5:30 to 9:00 ... there is no 4th route to take...once 1/2 Km away from home took me 1 1/2 hours to cover...can it get any sadder?

Worst is...to move from east to west (across SV road) there are just hand full of connections made...and that too...good enuff for only 2 vehicals to go at a time...and you will find rows and rows of BEST buses, autowala's and our private vehicals fighting their way into it...why can't this connectivity be made better? i dont know

despite my indicator to take left...and when i am about to take it...auto's , bikes, cycles....will happily over take me from left ..can they not see the indicator blinking and the car turning? and when i am about to move, three girls will come giggling crossing the road taking their own sweet time, in no hurry that they are holding fleet of cars ... i helpless listen to the honking of the vehicles i am holding,wait for the girls to crawl at a tortoise speed and then move again...

and if this is not enuff...the rains will do the rest...the handful connections i spoke about will be submerged in water...

i want to know...why can't this be sorted...mumbai is a fantastic city but the traffic sucks...lives would be so much better if this one problem is sorted...but somewhere i feel that the mumbaikars very strangely take pride in this chaotic traffic....

when u are stuck in km's of traffic jam look around to see how people react...they are as calm as ever...as if they anticipated this...that amazes me...that is not how this problem will be solved...please do not accept it, as once u accept it ...any scope of improvement stops, even before it starts...this is NOT how traffic it is suppose to be....if u think this is it...then this is how it will remain....

i was discussing this with a friend at work...and so proudly he told me..."this traffic is nothing wait for rains and u will see no one will be able to go out for work"...and his eyes were glittering with pride stating this...he did not know how sad that smile and the glitter in his eyes made me...

i wanna tell all mumbaikars...u have a fantastic city...just don't accept the traffic situation as is...coz if you do not want a change...there will never be any...

speak up...

not once but many a times it has happened that i have this great idea in my mind that i want to share, waiting for the right time to come..blah blah blah and before i know someone else has spoken about it...

in discussions when all are breaking heads for a solution , i may have an idea in my mind, but it sounds so stupid coz it sounds so basic...in fear of making a fool of myself ... i keep shut...and surprise surprise ... though basic...my solution was bang on!!! once again spoken by someone else...

my husband always tells me...most of the complex problem have simple solutions...but people are so fixed on solving complexity that they miss out the obvious...

so

lesson learnt - i will always speak up...

i talk, therefore i am…

i talk a lot, … i mean …a lot, which sometimes leads me to say things i shouldn’t. u know, when u have a task of speaking 252 words in a second…u actually cant put the phrase “think before u speak” into practice can u…?

well that is me, those who love me live with it (do they have a choice?) and those who don’t…I’ll say just try…i ain’t that bad…

they say my 'mercury' (the planet - it represents communication) is disturbed .. hence my communication – my blabber mouth will never stop...and if the ‘planet’ says so…i guess i have no choice :)

so here i am…the talker mouth…like i said –not that bad…

take it or leave it…i come only in one style… “i talk, therefore i am”

note : i have no branches…

Road not taken...can we actually take it?

"road not taken" by Robert Frost, personally a very inspiring poem, that talks about how the road less traveled by... made all the difference...tell me in reality how many of us will or will be allowed to take the road that is "not taken".

Aren't we from childhood taught to stick to the conservative rather less risky path in life? how many of us do take a chance with our studies or career even if it means to follow our dreams?

do we not stop ourselves from doing something that our heart may long for but the world around may criticize.

...and how many times has the fear of society stopped u from taking that path u knew would actually make the difference...

... it may have worked for Mr Frost when he said " I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference " but i am not sure if we all can take the road that we know will make the difference...may be that road even if we want, cannot be taken...

do i live too much in my past?

if you happen to know me once - and knew that i cared for you then - don’t be surprised if i pop up in front of you to say hello...just like that …out of the blue…..that is me…

is that normal?

i am not sure …there are times when i see something that reminds me of someone special ... it could be a little thing as a purple color…as that is what my friend jyoti liked…or a post box or a post man – as that reminds me of my childhood friend vivek whom i grew up writing 2 letters a week (and now new age letters - emails), or simply two girls giggling away to glory – that reminds me of my bestest (if there is a word like that in dictionary) of friends God could ever make…anamika

when i think of them i want to get back to them…so i follow the trace from where we lost touch and reach out…just to say hello…you know for old time’s sake… but what i don’t realize is that they may not have been thinking of me, they may have totally moved on … and for them the times that we shared are now just some fancy pictures in their album…

I miss my old days, my friends, my school, my school canteen and uniform, the corridor, the evening walks around the park with my 3 girlfriends, my colleagues in chennai and horrible drive to office in kelambakam far away from the city ….i miss every thing...

so when I come to know the whereabouts of a friend, I make that extra effort to reach out to them…you know for the old times sake and say hello...…but you know what - I am not sure if they feel the same way…

Its not that those were the perfect days …I had my share of heartbreaks,crying over the pillow nights as well…(check my blog…it talks all about it) … I see my life today…I am happiest i have ever been…i could not have asked God for more – (touch wood ) I have a perfect husband (parceled from my past - the days i am talking about), a perfect marriage and a great job…so why do I miss those times and people so much…??

is it that I am too sensitive when compared to others? is it a disease? is it abnormal? is it that the nostalgia glands (if any) work overtime for me…do I not want to let that time go? do I want to hold it back? …i do not know…so I worry thinking about it…as not many go around the world getting connected to school time friends, or people you worked with 8 years ago… I wonder, may be unlike most of the world… I live too much in my past…

Can a man and a woman be “just” friends?

my answer is “why not?”, most of you around will answer no way…

per me, guy and a girl are two people and can be best of friends without having romantic feelings…friendship does not have anything to do with you being from same or opposite sex, friendship for me only means that you get along, hit it off and you care…

if I care for someone, I don’t train my brain to feel differently for a guy or a girl, all my brain…no my heart understands is that it feels for this person, I guess heart is typically sex blind to begin with…brain may understand the difference though…right…I think I am getting somewhere, let me rethink…

if you are ruled by mind and manage relationships – you see the difference, but if you are ruled by heart to drive relationships – you don’t see the difference…I guess this is the answer…

think of kids, they play in the playground, not worrying if half of them are in frocks or shorts, all they know is to slide down the slide, or catch some one quickly at hide and seek, may be coz their minds do not know the sex difference yet…as they grow they are taught about the difference and then brain understands it…so the complications begin…

you might laugh but i feel as strongly for my girlfriends as i can feel for a guy…i have this friend (ex colleague), I am extremely fond of, would get jealous if she mixed too much with other people, I would love to do small things for her, if tissue box on her desk was empty,I would replace it before she knew it was over…happily replaced her in official trips where she did not want to go…got gifts coz I knew she loved to be pampered, when some one got chocolates after travel – I would flick all the bounty’s first and hide it in my drawer – as that was her favourite, I sent million of thanks to God up there when finally she got engaged to her boyfriend… after she left I found a note pad of hers, with notes scribbled from meetings, I picked it up, two years past, I still have it with me, when I miss her - I open it look at her handwriting, touch the scribbled text to feel her again, I simply love her ….ya, now some of you might say "this babe is not straight"…that is exactly my point…why can’t a person truly and selflessly feel for another one without having romantic feelings? Why do you always have to mix it up?

well in here u might give me benefit of doubt, as we both are girls but if I did similar things for a guy…I am sure I will not be spared…and that is what irritates me…why can’t we accept that a girl can genuinely care for a guy without any romance in it – or vice verca…like I do for my friend mentioned above… why can't the world accept if I felt similarly for a guy?

why do you have to doubt the intentions if i care? why do you think i feel for you not the way a friend does but the way a girl would? why can't i feel happy to see you happy? what is wrong if i say you are special? why do you think i expect something in return? why i ask...why?

i am just being me, let me be...i ask nothing from you, i demand nothing from you, i expect nothing from you...

it does not matter if it matters to you

people come and go, that is how most of the world looks at meeting new people, you meet, you know them and you move on… but some of them actually touch your heart…and when it happens; it does not matter if it matters to them…

well, let me try again; I don’t have many friends, I can actually count them on my figures…but apart from friends, there are many people, we may not even be in touch, I don’t even know where they are, but I still think of them fondly, remember the time we met, or few interactions we had, or may be years we spent together…they are very special to me, coz they all touched my heart …

…It does not matter if they remember me, it does not matter if they think of me, it does not matter if we ever meet again, all what matters is for me to be able to relive those moments I spent with them…

if I know where they are, I go round to say hello, and more often than not, they wonder - where did I appeared from? They must think I am crazy, but you know what…it does not matter, coz it is my need to see or talk to them again , it is my need to make them a part of my life and memories … its my need…not theirs…so it does not matter…

I am sure each one of us have some people in our lives whom we fondly remember – selflessly… without questioning if they think of you, if you matter to them….it does not even matter if they care…all what matters is that you care…you know why? … coz they touch your heart..…like you touch mine…

you are one of those whom I will fondly remember – always , it does not matter where we are, how old we grow, which paths we take …all what matters is I care…and, it does not matter if I matter to you…

I love...

i care, you know
i share, you know
i ask, you know
i answer, you know
i think, you know
i speak, you know
i give, you know
i demand, you know
i love - do you know?

What does sex mean to you?

Woman are always found saying, “all what men have on their mind is sex”

I am not going to debate on if it is true or not, or is it right or wrong. Who am I to pass a judgment? I can only share my views on it…

A recent survey in Australia came out with a result, saying 80% of men were willing to forego sex for a month if they were assured win in Ashes. A sports crazy India, will follow any triangular series be it one day or test series, India or no India, one will choose a team and be with them. Well, if we were to follow the rule Ausies talked about, looking at the cricket season of 10 to 11 months a year, leaves us with 1 to 2 months, and thanks to athletics, PHL, and god knows what all, not sure if one will get any share of 'other' sport…and then we say guys want it all the time.

I was at dinner with my colleagues when one of them tasted a dish and said “it is too good, just like sex” and I went like what??? Is that all what sex mean to men? Or is it that they have it so much that it is nothing but food for them, the bottom line is, they are able to compare it to some well cooked veggies.

If a couple sleep together for the first time, typically the guy will talk about it in his group for a day or two, boast about his latest girl and then move on to discuss the latest Formula 1 race. Let’s see how the girl’s next few days will look like. You will find her smiling all the time, eating, bathing, walking, sleeping, working, practically doing anything, all day long the smile will not leave her face. Before sleeping, she will play the sequence of that day again and again in her mind, close her eyes and try to feel his hands again on all the places he had touched…trust me this can go on for weeks...and then we say - it is men who have it on their minds all the time.

Just a few days back I was talking to a friend when he said don’t know why girls pay so much importance to the first date, first gift, first kiss etc…, I was wondering, my friend being a bachelor under 30, gives no importance to these intimate moments and me being married and in love with my partner probably ever since I grew up, still prepare for his return from his trips and hope for sparkly moments, if they happen I treasure them, and if they don’t, I go heart broken…how can we say that “guys” are the ones possessed by these thoughts?

Spy on to a girlie group in a cozy corner, 8 out of 10 times they will be discussing guys and their "thing"...talk about sizes, moves and what not... trust me the level they can go down to is filth...I am sure guys do it too but they talk about it laugh it out and next thing - they will be philosophizing about life or planning a trip they had been wanting to take for a long time, walk into the girly group, even after 4 hours they will be giggling endlessly as if guys and their “thing” is the only life these girls have…

Don’t get me wrong, I know guys are no saints and they too have an evil mind. Nowhere am I trying to imply that men do not think about sex, they better do…but women are no less, if not more they are equal…but they will die before admitting it.